​When you are feeling stuck, it is sooooo easy to get caught up in a "problem focused" thinking pattern.  The
problem feels so overwhelming that it takes over your whole mental space, leaving precious little room for maneuver.
Some say that in order to solve a problem, you really need to understand it thoroughly (where it came from, what caused it, what it means etc.)
Personally, I don't believe that is necessary, because I have seen so many instances where dwelling on the problem only makes it worse.  It is truly surprising how effective it can be to STOP thinking about the problem and START thinking about options and potential solutions.
And, there is where the magic word "instead" comes into play.
What if the next time you are facing a big hairy problem that stretches from horizon to horizon, and feels like it is blocking out all the light, you were to ask yourself the following questions:
 
What do I want instead of this?
What do I want to be doing instead?
What do I want to be thinking instead?
How do I want to be feeling instead?
What do I want to be saying instead?
Where do I want to be going instead?

And when you get some specific, concrete answers my suggestion it to....... start doing and thinking and feeling those things right now. I'm assuming you may be surprised at the results.
 
I truly feel that "Thinking is overrated"! Yes, I do know that there is a time and place for it, and what I have noticed is it is one of the classic ways human beings get themselves stuck.
You can think and think and think about....to read more click here

Today I have a challenge for you. I would like to you to notice when you begin to feel encumbered by your emotions.

Notice when you feel a tug to be connected.

For example: 
Having your phone within arm's reach, believing that you need to return someone's phone call or email immediately, (because you are someone who makes things happen quickly, because you care, because that's your usual mode of operating).

Notice the compulsions that rise up.

OR: 

Your desire to want to change someone's mind, to get swept up in an argument, to feel the annoyance at the traffic or the weather or the inconsiderate nature of "some people".

Notice the pull to criticize yourself for your food choices today - whether you had a coffee before water, a sandwich when you were "supposed" to eat your greens or you ate a muffin instead of your go-to smoothie.

Notice how you feel within your body when you are faced with a difficult choice-the pressure to respond, recoil, or perhaps, lash out.

I'm assuming it feels yucky right??

Tense......Compelled....Pressured....
.
Being swung by the tail of your own emotional reactivity.

AND.....NOT TODAY DEAR ONE.....

Today, I am reminding you, to remind yourself, that you have the....to read more click HERE

No matter what, I always have to watch the final scene of Dirty Dancing if I come across it on TV.  The end-of-the season Catskills resort talent show, the disgruntled dancers scowling in the back of the room because their leader has been unceremoniously fired, the awkward table for three where our heroine, Baby (Jennifer Grey), and her parents self-consciously sit to watch the pageant. It doesn't matter that I have seen this mid-80's hit,....hmmmmm....let's say 30....40 times....I always have to watch it again.  Not because it is a classic cinema.  Not because I have to hear Patric Swayze as Johnny Castle say, "Nobody puts Baby in a corner", before he hauls her up on stage...Not even for the excruciating singing of Baby's older sister.

No.....I watch it because, deep down, I believe that with just a few turns around the floor I could learn those steps from Patrick Swayze, wear the flowing dress like Jennifer Grey, and of course do an unbelievable job with that final number.
If you are a woman reading this, I am assuming you are nodding your head, saying, "Yes! Yes!" 
 
And guys, what does Dirty Dancing do for you?? Perhaps you may......read more by clicking here...Enoy!!

 Being vulnerable can be difficult for some people.  It can conjure up feelings such as fear of being judged, fear of losing control and/or fear of looking weak.  Sometimes when we feel we want to project a certain image to the world, we try to avoid vulnerability.  We feel as though being vulnerable will leave us feeling alone and abandoned because we "make up a story" that we will not be accepted for who we really are. 
 
My core beliefs and my work as a coach show me that vulnerability is the key to feeling connected, purposeful and thriving.  At the moment that we feel vulnerable, it presents us with a choice.  The choice is one between acting from the ego or acting from your authentic self.  While the ego wants separateness, control and predictability, the authentic self wants love, connection and compassion.   

 I truly feel we have reached a critical point in our culture where many people are literally burnt out and to read more click here

When someone talks about being grounded or grounding, they're often talking about a feeling of calm that extends deeper than just a moment's repose.

- Physically grounded - refers to our positive connection to nature or the earth, as well as to our connection to our physical bodies.

- Emotionally grounded - refers to having peaceful awareness of our emotional state, and allowing our thoughts and emotions balanced and natural expression.

- Spiritually grounded - refers to our unimpeded connection to the Divine, and acceptance of our unique spiritual journey.

Scientifically, the term grounding or grounded revolves around research proving that a connection with Nature--literally, the ground or the earth--is a terrific benefit for positive attitude, emotional stability, and happiness. For example... -The Greater Good Science Center reports findings from over 100 studies that show being in nature, or even viewing nature in paintings and videos, can have positive impacts on our brains, bodies, thought processes, and social interactions. In particular, viewing nature seems to be inherently rewarding, producing a cascade of position emotions and calming our nervous systems. These in turn help us to cultivate greater openness,……to read more, click here....Enjoy!

Navigating our emotions can be felt as a lifelong goal. Unpredictable emotional undercurrents arise in our life, swirling around ever turn, needing attention and focus. 
Curious???  How do you feel you are navigating your emotions?
 
When we choose to simply react to our emotions, we can be dragged down into deep water.  Personally, I know I have had to try to fix an emotional outburst after the fact, and I'm guessing you have too.  And sometimes it was hard for me to get a "redo" for some of those relationships. How about for you?
 
As I learned ways to strengthen my emotional reactions to things and look for emotional strength inside, I began to lead with my heart rather than externally reacting to an emotional reaction.
 
Is There a Way to Plan For Emotional Triggers?
 
I certainly have emotional triggers and I imagine you do too.  And we often know......to read more click here.. Enjoy~

I'm curious?  Is there someone you know you want to have a talk with and then don't?   Or, maybe you've tried and you felt it went badly.  Or maybe you fear that talking will only make the situation worse.  And still you feel stuck, and you'd like to free up that stuck energy for more useful purposes. 
 
I'm going to share with you a brief synopsis of what I feel are best practice strategies:  a checklist of action items to think about before going into the conversation; some useful concepts to practice during the conversation and some tips and suggestions to help you stay focused and flowing in general, including possible conversation openings.
 
I'm guessing you will notice one key theme throughout;  you have more power than you think
Ready....?
Super...Let's start!
 
Working on Yourself & How To Prepare for the Conversation
Before going into the conversation, take some time to ask yourself some questions:
 

1. What is your purpose for having the conversation? …….to read more…click here…Enjoy!!

​Everyone wants to be trusted. Especially in a close or intimate relationship. And trust is not automatic. It's proven every day. Earning and giving trust is never-ending. It starts with the little things. Sooo....why don't friends and partners trust one another? There can be many reasons.
 
Being trusted involves doing what you say, being consistent, and considering the other person. Trusting someone new can be difficult if you have been hurt in the past, have poor self-esteem, or worry about being vulnerable.
 
When you open yourself up to the other person - trusting, loving, giving - you can be free to express yourself and grow in a relationship. When you mistrust, especially with no reason, you can poison the relationship with jealousy or skepticism. Increasing trust is well worth the effort.
 
 In order to be trusted, you need to…….read more here…..Enjoy~

What if there was one simple action you could take that had the ability to shift your feeling state
almost instantly? What if you could have an anxiety-lessening tool that is at your disposal any moment of the day, no matter what you were doing? What if you could feel better, right this minute?

Isn't it lucky for you and I, our bodies come equipped with this powerful tool. Breathing is the only thing your body does that is both unconscious (you don't have to tell yourself to breathe) and conscious (you can change your breathing rate and rhythm). Because it is a window into your nervous system, it has the ability to change your anxiety level, send you helpful (or harmful) hormones and help you access inner wisdom.

 "The solution to stress lies within us. Nature has given us......read more here.......